Ladies, have you ever been in this situation?
You're dating a guy, and on the first or second date, when the subject of relationships or even marriage comes up, the gentleman says, "I'm not really looking to get married." I call this the "disclaimer." A disclaimer is something a man tells a woman up front about himself, to remove an expectation of him. So, if he doesn't propose, she can't get upset with him, because he already told her, he wasn't looking for a wife.
Now, what is it we typically do when a man says this? We think, "Oh, he's not really interested in marriage, but I can change that. He just has to get to know me better." I don't know what is in us as a woman that tells us we can change men! Encourage them, teach them, inspire them, yes we can do those things. But change a man, not at all.
Let me tell you why a woman can't change a man's mind about marriage. First of all, a man who is not ready for marriage isn't looking for his wife. Many men know within themselves what kind of woman they would want to marry. But they either aren't ready to take care of that woman, or they just aren't interested in committing to one woman.
What he may be looking for is a friend, someone to talk to, someone to sleep with, or someone they can call occasionally while he dates other people. So, when he says, "I'm not really interested in marriage right now," he's hoping you're a woman that will date him for a couple of years, but not expect a marriage commitment. Why should he care if you try to convince him you'd be a good wife? That only means more love, sex, and commitment from you, requiring him to do little if not anything to deserve it.
A man that's looking for a wife is in search of a different kind of woman. He's looking for someone he can spend his life with. He's looking for a woman he can introduce to his family. He's looking for someone he can share his hopes and dreams with. He's looking for that special woman, the woman he hopes is out there, but isn't sure such a beautiful, talented, loving woman exists. He's looking for you!
It isn't that you wouldn't make a great wife. I know you would. But he's not dating you because you'd make a good wife. He's dating you because he hopes you're insecure or naive enough to stay with him with little hope of commitment.
So, if you're dating this type of guy, and you are ready to be a wife, your time is better spent preparing yourself for the man who's in search of his wife then to convince a man of the joys of marriage. Save your heart for a man who cares enough about you to commit to you. You're worth a commitment. And it's worth it to wait on the man that can't live without having you all to himself. It's the best feeling in the world, and I am thankful to God that he allowed me to experience such a love, a love my husband has for me.
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